Focus on Lighting A Fire Within

feeling valuedI have been thinking about how people perform better when they are made to feel valued and how important that is in so many aspects of life. Your professional life, your immediate family and of course your friends.

How many of us have been in a relationship (intimate, friendly, or professional) where you are left feeling less than important or overlooked or undervalued and it continues to permeate throughout the duration of the relationship? You know what you are left to feel — used, resentful and in many cases, you start to question your own worth.

  • Why do these people not want to invest in me?
  • Why do people treat me like I am not valuable?
  • Why am I not getting recognized for the work I do?
  • Why am I not invited to do things with my friend?
  • Why does he/she never call me or make plans with me?
  • What’s wrong with me that I am not being included?

This quote I came across this morning really resonated: “You can either light a fire underneath people or you can light a fire within them” 

Yes it takes leaders/friends/partners time to invest in the relationships but the payoff for both sides is immense. In a work related environment: it definitely takes time to learn how different people are motivated, what encourages them, what inspires them to learn and how they grow.  But by investing in time to find these things out, you grow as a leader and personally as well.

I have been struggling with finding the reasons why some people that I am around a lot aren’t inspired or engaged on a daily basis in what they are creating. They are dialing in their work, they are more concerned with pointing out others faults and showing everyone else what THEY know as opposed to doing things to benefit the team and ultimately the overall mission. When you are around people like that regularly, it becomes toxic.  And what happens is it starts to chip away at your own ability to continue to be inspired.

I take pride in making sure the work I do –or the commitments I make are followed through to the best of my ability. If it has my name attached to it — it reflects me and I am serious about doing good work in all aspects, but I can’t force others to adopt that perspective and I can’t sell inspiration or enthusiasm.

I always think back to that book He’s just Not that Into You for inspiration. That book resonates in so many aspects of life –not just women and dating.  There are so many clues people give to let you know whether you are valuable to them. 

  • Friends: Is the relationship give and take? Or is it all one sided?
  • Work: Are you being recognized and compensated appropriately?
  • Family: Are you being listened to and valued as an equal member of the family?

There is no wrong or right answers on what to do — it’s about you and whether or not you will allow yourself to be in a situation where you aren’t being valued or treated appropriately.  Sometimes you put up with it because of the benefits it offers you, or have other reasons –but I can tell you for most people, that is only temporarily ok. You know when your life is out of whack and things aren’t working. It’s up to you to break free from fear and decide that it’s not OK anymore –and demand respect (in whatever way that means for you). 

Ok, enough random thoughts for today.


  • 400m jog
  • DROM
  • Band Mobility


  • Front Squat


  • Front Squat 1-10-1-20-1-30 (go for heavy and 1 RM)
  • Tabata Burpees

Total: 170# and least amount of burpees 3. (I HATE BURPEES)


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