Do you ever think about the things you liked to do as a kid? Do you remember how often you had art class?  How you were given time to be creative and innovative?

I used to write plays when I was in grade school. They weren’t long or elaborate, but I loved making up stories. I also loved to act. I took acting classes for years – and then – the tweens. I lost confidence, had trouble fitting in, gained a ton of weight, and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch TV. I lost touch with all those of the creative things I loved to do and it’s been a struggle to find them again.  Growing up, my Mom was a single divorced mom – before so many other parents divorced, and she worked a lot.  My sister and I didn’t have a lot of parental oversight to push us to get our butts outside and play and she wasn’t able to take us to after school activities. It’s not a matter of blaming, it’s just the way it was.  Once I hit my teens,  I was picked on incessantly and was very lonely. I am sure today – I would be considered medically ‘depressed’, but back then – it was considered a stage I was going through.

As a mom now, I see a shift in my own tween-age daughter – her interest in her looks and fitting in started a year or so and it seems to be intensifying. I am thankful that she’s not the target of bullies or mean girls, but she has mentioned that she’s doesn’t think she’s popular and doesn’t have a lot of friends. Wearing my Mom hat,  I talk to her about quality vs quantity of friends and offer her words of encouragement because heck, I like her! The reality is though, there are so many outside influences on our daughters that I feel sometimes it’s hard to overcome.  Does it have to be this way for young girls today?

Do young girls have to lose their confidence and sense of empowerment just because they mature?

I’d like to think that the world has changed, but look around – some things have changed, but much has remained the same. There are so many articles and research out there detailing how young girls ultimately grow up to be women with low confidence and find they have less opportunities than male counterparts in their personal lives and careers.

Here’s a few recent articles for example:

• Speaking While Female, with Sheryl Sandberg
• Madam C.E.O., Get Me a Coffee: Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant on Women Doing ‘Office Housework’
• Gender Inequality and Women in the Workplace
• HOW WE CAN HELP YOUNG GIRLS STAY ASSERTIVE: WHEN SHE’S FOUR, SHE’S AUDACIOUS. WHEN SHE’S 14, SHE HAS TROUBLE SPEAKING UP FOR HERSELF. HERE’S HOW TO HELP YOUNG WOMEN KEEP THEIR VOICE.

Talking about the issue is definitely a start when it comes to addressing the problem, but more focus needs to be on teaching our daughters AND sons about valuing people – male AND female. Parents need to walk the walk/talk the talk as well. However, since men are in many positions of leadership around the world, maybe the wives and daughters out there need to put much needed pressure on the men in their lives to encourage them to lead the change.

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