Scott and I recently went to see Chris Rock at MGM National Harbor. Because of the current state of affairs in our country, I’ve been trying to find ways to laugh more. We’ve seen a few comics recently, including Trevor Noah and Kevin Nealon. This was also the first time seeing a show at the Theater at MGM National Harbor.
Chris Rock’s Total Blackout Tour is a couple hours of the Chris Rock comedy you would expect- offensive topics, sex and dating, cursing, and race discussion, but what surprised me was how introspective he was about life, aging, and his own life experiences. He’s grown up and just like many of us, he is struggling with how different life can be as we enter and live through middle age. Much of his show was about his family and the breakup of his marriage. I got the sense that he has spent a lot of time thinking about it and has a lot of sadness about how shitty of a husband he was. His love for his kids definitely shone through as he talked about going through the divorce process and raising them. To someone not at the show, this may sound unfunny, but he definitely had a way of looking at it that was in the typical Chris Rock style.
What really stuck with me after the show was his post divorce advice about staying married successfully. I still can’t believe I am sharing marriage advice from Chris Rock but he definitely hit some truths.
Here are a few of the tips he shared:
- Marriage is not a competition
Your success is her success and her success is your success. If you get a raise, bonus or have any self defined success – your spouse did too. You are in this together and the good that befalls one – befalls you both.
- Marriage is not always fair
Marriage like being in a band and you all are multi-instrument artists. Sometimes you get to be the lead singer and sometimes you play the tambourine. Depending on the situation, it switches up. If you happen to find yourself on tambourine, you better play that tambourine like there is no tomorrow. You don’t get to be boss all the time.
- Have a lot of sex
Self explanatory. Loss of intimacy in any relationship can spell problems.
So, there you have it – Relationship advice from the guy who played the junkie in New Jack City. Times sure have changed.
Thanks for a great show Chris Rock.
A big challenge that I have been facing lately is confronting the fear I have felt about taking the next big step in my career. I have a lot of doubts and anxiety about whether I could handle the next level but with this new job, I decided to just jump into it. Yesterday, my brother David sent me a quote he said reminded him of what I am currently feeling:
“To be clear, the goal is to feel the emotions caused by your state of ignorance, not to dismantle them. This is because your emotions powerfully indicate that you have hit a personal boundary” Excerpt From: Jason Apollo Voss. “The Intuitive Investor.” SelectBooks, Inc., 2010. iBooks.
I need to feel the emotions because they are a symptom of a personal boundary: My doubt and lack of confidence in my experience and abilities. This year I am committed to breaking through this boundary and moving onto the next one. Life is full of personal boundaries waiting to be taken on if you think about it.
I want you to take time today and read this: Lottery Tickets: Grieving for a husband. It’s definitely not an easy read. It’s a heartbreaking story, but so beautifully written that you will be better having read it. Her story is very intimate, you can feel the heartbreak and sadness but there is also hope — it’s a reminder that life is short, family is important and love is grand.
- Do you know #howmuchsleep you need? National Sleep Foundation updates recommendations for all ages.
- Unapologetically Size 14
Boxing 1 Hour
After working on a specific strength program for 12 weeks at Highbar CrossFit, the time has come to test and see the progress. Yesterday, I got a 5# PR on my Squat clean. Today – my back squat! PR’d by 10# to end at 220# although I think I could have done more – ran out of time and had to get home to get the kids off to school. Sometimes you have to leave some in the tank to take care of life.
I feel so great about my progress. The coaches at Highbar take such a different approach to strength training that sometimes I think maybe it’s not working, but then you test and you are a whole hell of a lot stronger than you realized. But then I remind myself that i am still starting out by doing something pretty stupid.
After getting my PR this morning, I am taking the plates off the bar. I don’t think I have ever had plates that heavy on a barbell before, so it never occurred to me to take the plates off in any particular way. Well think about it –heavy plates on each side, removing all the plates off of one side before the other… Yeah, the bar was a teeter totter and went flying. I am so lucky that no one was around it because it could have done some serious damage. The only damage done was to my EGO as everyone stopped, became silent, and then laughed at me. Coach Dan then said Do you even lift, Bro?. I’m always learning…
I gotta talk about the benefits of Magnesium again. I sometimes forget to take it and then get in the routine of skipping it for days on end. Then I remember to take it and quickly remember why I should take it. The last two days, I’ve been taking Natural Calm before I go to bed and I am telling you – the difference in how I feel when I wake up is night and day. I am not sore, not groggy, not super exhausted.
Yesterday, I shared a link about symptoms of a Magnesium Deficiency, but the bottom line is that a magnesium deficiency can affect virtually every system of the body. It’s that important to your overall health and wellness. My suggestion is to talk to your doctor, of course, but add a glass of Natural Calm before you go to bed for awhile and see if you feel better.
Back Squat 1RM: 220 (10# PR)
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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the effects of how you see your world has on how situations play out in your life. I had a discussion with my brother over the weekend about kindness and approaching things with the idea that everyone around you has good intentions when they do what they do. We all know that not everyone operates from that truth –but one thing we can control is how we approach things in our lives, so that we do indeed start from there.
I shared with him a recent experience where I had to really be conscious about how I was going to approach a certain situation because the old me would have been less than kind –
I was at Wegmans this weekend and ran into a former co-worker of mine. As I have shared, I was recently laid off and my experience at that company was less than ideal for quite a while before that. Many of the people there were just not nice –whether it was a personality trait or a product of the company culture, I can’t say–but I would categorize 8 out of 10 people in the department I worked in as unkind regularly, not only to me but to many others. There was no team atmosphere, no sense of each other as people, no compassion.
After working there for 7 years – with this particular person, I didn’t hear a peep from him when I got laid off. I would have thought a facebook message or an email. We had been friendly through the years and he lives in the same area. I did receive notes from many others out there. It was just annoying and disappointing and hurtful to not hear from some of the people I would have thought would at least send a note.
Anyway, I don’t have time for people like that in my life and would have preferred not to see him. But he stopped me in one of the aisles and wanted to make small talk. The old me would have been standoffish and maybe even, rude. But I did stop, chatted about mundane things, asked him about his family, wished him well and walked away. There is no reason to be mean. It would have been a reflection of me, not him. Who knows why he didn’t reach out to me and who cares, really. There’s no need to create discord or strain a relationship that really is just a blip on my life radar.
I felt good about how I handled it and realized – I can do this!
My brother shared a story about letting his three year old daughter put the parking ticket in the machine and she was fumbling around, taking a long time. She dropped the ticket and well, you can imagine, she was futzing around. There was a lady behind them with her teen-aged kids waiting – who decided that this was annoying enough to warrant rudeness. And very rudely – told my brother and family to hurry up and that there were people waiting. I get that people are in a hurry and maybe they were holding people up – but to choose to approach them in an aggressive, rude way wasn’t necessary. We are talking about a three year old -learning to do grown up things and think about how she is teaching her own kids to behave when inconvenienced.
Personally, I would have thought it was adorable and would have encouraged her on even if she weren’t my niece. But this lady could have smiled and asked if she could go ahead because she was late or whatever. And my brother didn’t respond in the best way either —
It really does take practice. We have to relearn how to approach conflict, because for many of us our knee jerk reaction is to defend our actions & get defensive. If you start to approach everyone with the idea that they are coming from a good place, with good intentions – it will get easier. And if you really practice being kind, even to those that don’t deserve it – you will become better for it too.
- Wall Balls
- -db snatch
- -shuttle runs
- Wall Balls
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Need motivation to change? Meet Lakeisha
The CrossFit Games Open starts soon — its a series of workouts designed to challenge you and separate casual athletes from elites and ultimately those that rise to the challenge meet up during the CrossFit Games during the summer. Even you aren’t ready to go to the ultimate games, it’s a good way to just test yourself based on your own level and be a part of a bigger event that really ties all of us CrossFitters together.
Do you think you are too old to start CrossFit? Look at these 60+year olds in Tucson putting in the work. Now let’s be honest, many athletes like this probably were already in shape and were primed and ready to do CrossFit, however, all across the country, there a ton of ‘masters’ athletes that are doing CrossFit that aren’t born athletes –and are doing it! What’s Your Excuse??
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It’s freezing here, but man I feel for those So CAL folks as they endure brutal weather…My thoughts are with them.
There are quite a few things on my mind today –
Yesterday, I posted this pic of me and my friend Kath who has joined our 6a group at Highbar CrossFit. My sister and I were talking and she asked me how long I have been at Highbar CrossFit. She said you were at that other CrossFit gym for a few years and never had the definition in your arms like you have now. Six months of smart programming and great coaching has made a HUGE difference in my progress. You can hear me say that until I am blue in the face, but the proof shows. Those arms are created by strength training and hard work. Now I need to get my eating under control once again and I will be hard to beat.
Happy Birthday to one of my all time favorite CrossFit Chicks ever: Christmas Abbott. If you haven’t checked out her website – ChristmasAbbott.co – head over there. She is one of the nicest people you will ever meet — and a badass a the same time.
Now, let’s talk about this stupid Duck Dynasty shit for a minute – I have never watched this show personally and have no idea who Phil Robertson is. My friend Lisbeth Darsh posted this Facebook status yesterday,
So much anger in the FB stream, mostly centered on a backwoods fella who spoke ignorantly. Some folks attack, some folks defend.
I’d rather everybody turn their attention and energy to doing something good, to building something. Love. Family. Fitness. Community. We only have so much time here.
And tell that old fella with the beard he can come to my house. We’d welcome him, just like he was Santa Claus. Hate? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Deadlifts? Yeah, we got time for that. Overhead squats too.
Adding on to that thought – I think people are losing their internal filter and ability to relax and let stupid shit roll off our shoulders. Someone says something ignorant or stupid — it’s not the first time, nor the last. Don’t buy their shit, don’t watch their shows, don’t waste your valuable energy on that shit. Put your focus and energy towards positive things and above all else, be kind and understanding – some people really just don’t know any better.
For a Laugh
Twelve Days of Christmas (sing the song to figure out the sequence of movements)
I have been having some issues with my right trap and shoulder for a while now. Anything overhead seems to aggravate it and being stubborn – I have been ignoring it, working through it and continuing on doing some mobility daily to loosen it up. I think it’s due to misalignment during lifting and just overall posture issues. My shoulders lean in — picture a traditional weightlifter sort of hunch. I am working on it though –just takes time and effort.
Anyway, my friend Liz has been bugging me about backing off from some of the movements I have been doing to let it heal and I finally listened. Starting last week, I have been avoiding pull ups (especially kipping), and going lower on any sort of exercise that requires me to push it overhead. And my shoulder/trap does actually feel better. I am surprised at how hard it is for me to just leave my ego at the door and pick up the 15# dumbbells when I normally do 25# -even though I KNOW it’s because I’m working on healing something. I guess it’s because I have worked so hard to be this strong – and to have to back off of it, is tough. But just like anything else with this fitness journey, change and being comfortable with it is part of the learning process.
I want to let you in on a little secret this morning about where to find the Fountain of Youth…
You can find it in your area, I swear. I have seen proof – Exercise and living a healthy life is the secret and is quite literally the Fountain of Youth.
I have seen it for myself — I feel and look younger than I did when I was in my twenties (or so I have been told). And this week, an old AOL co-worker of mine posted this status:
Five years ago, I couldn’t climb stairs without getting winded. Today, I punched and kicked my way through my test, almost passing out. Anything is possible folks, and let me tell you, it feels damn good when you get there. Well, after you throw up and fall down. And a shower. Then it feels good.
I was looking at the picture she posted to go along with it and realized she looks younger and healthier than five years ago too! She feels great and looks younger without cosmetic surgery! Through exercise and living healthier. I think there is something to this whole thing.
To further the point, the Washington Post published Studies show the long-term, positive effects of fitness on cognitive abilities. I think we can all agree that exercise and living healthy improves all areas of your life.
- Mood including Depressing and Anxiety
- Sex Life
- Controls Weight
- Boosts Energy and fights Fatigue
Our bodies are designed to move –when we are sedentary, we are not using as designed and it causes issues! It’s a no brainer — and we all can find time in our busy lives to make exercise a priority.
3x 10 Strict Pullups
3x 400m Row
25 slam balls
40 Double Unders/60 Singles
100 Abmat Situps
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For a Laugh
This weekend, I went to a holiday party at my friend Kyle’s house. We were asked to bring art supplies and personal items (shampoo, soap, pajama pants – all sizes and other cozy items) for the girls of Chloe house.
Chloe House is a group home for teenage girls referred by the DC Department of Youth Rehabilitation Services. It offers residential care, counseling, and life skills development activities including educational and employment opportunities. Chloe House was named for Tabara Chloe, a former participant of several Sasha Bruce Youthwork programs who established a life-long relationship with the organization.
I love that we not only were able to have a lovely, fun evening but helped others while celebrating.
- DB Clean Press
- Burpee Box Jumps
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Scotty sent me this link because it reminded him of our chemo experience. We went into each treatment (which was every two weeks), with a positive outlook and we laughed a whole heck of a lot. It is typical of how we approach most things in our life. It’s worked so far…
This story made me cry. Ellen has done so much to promote kindness and I applaud her for her work. These boys are the cutest things – I love, love, love this whole story.