Scott and I recently went to see Chris Rock at MGM National Harbor. Because of the current state of affairs in our country, I’ve been trying to find ways to laugh more. We’ve seen a few comics recently, including Trevor Noah and Kevin Nealon. This was also the first time seeing a show at the Theater at MGM National Harbor.
Chris Rock’s Total Blackout Tour is a couple hours of the Chris Rock comedy you would expect- offensive topics, sex and dating, cursing, and race discussion, but what surprised me was how introspective he was about life, aging, and his own life experiences. He’s grown up and just like many of us, he is struggling with how different life can be as we enter and live through middle age. Much of his show was about his family and the breakup of his marriage. I got the sense that he has spent a lot of time thinking about it and has a lot of sadness about how shitty of a husband he was. His love for his kids definitely shone through as he talked about going through the divorce process and raising them. To someone not at the show, this may sound unfunny, but he definitely had a way of looking at it that was in the typical Chris Rock style.
What really stuck with me after the show was his post divorce advice about staying married successfully. I still can’t believe I am sharing marriage advice from Chris Rock but he definitely hit some truths.
Here are a few of the tips he shared:
- Marriage is not a competition
Your success is her success and her success is your success. If you get a raise, bonus or have any self defined success – your spouse did too. You are in this together and the good that befalls one – befalls you both.
- Marriage is not always fair
Marriage like being in a band and you all are multi-instrument artists. Sometimes you get to be the lead singer and sometimes you play the tambourine. Depending on the situation, it switches up. If you happen to find yourself on tambourine, you better play that tambourine like there is no tomorrow. You don’t get to be boss all the time.
- Have a lot of sex
Self explanatory. Loss of intimacy in any relationship can spell problems.
So, there you have it – Relationship advice from the guy who played the junkie in New Jack City. Times sure have changed.
Thanks for a great show Chris Rock.
I came across this blog post today: Who’s Really the Selfish One? and had to share it because it really encapsulates my perspective on how important my own health and fitness is to me and it totally aligns with the reason I even have my blog. Taking care of yourself is not selfish! I hear too many parents in my area say they are too busy to exercise, they put their children’s needs way ahead of their own health needs and put themselves at the very bottom of their very long/never ending priority list.
My blog, Live Fit and Sore, emphasizes the importance of taking care of yourself no matter your circumstances…
- Most of us go through life thinking It could never happen to us. Whatever that It is — but guess what? It does and has happened to people all around you. Cancer is affecting younger people more and more. We all know a few people who have suffered heart attacks at an early age. Name an illness or disease – I’m almost positive you will find people your age who have had to face it. Research shows people fare better against a whole host of illnesses if they are in shape and relatively healthy. And it goes without saying, you can’t take care of others properly if you aren’t taking care of yourself.
- What message and lesson do you want your kids to learn? I love that my kids understand that my fitness and health is a priority to me. I want them to grown up understanding that no matter how busy and hectic our life gets, I find time to workout. They also see me meeting great people and how the experience enriches my life. I want the same for them. I want them to know that you don’t have to get ‘old’ and become just a ‘parent’. I’m very proud of being their mom, but I am still a viable, important person who deserves time to take care of myself. I want them to think leading an active and fit life is normal as they grow and have families of their own. You don’t lose your person status when you become a parent —
This was one of the closing paragraphs of the blog post that I think we all need to consider: “Picture yourself twenty or thirty years from now. Are you happily playing with your grandkids and enjoying your life independently, or are you stuck on the couch or scooter, too achy and out of shape to enjoy this beautiful world and those in it?”
- Why kids today are out of shape, disrespectful – and in charge
- Exercise can help offset effects of ‘fat gene,’ study finds
- Science: Running Is Better Than Every Other Exercise at Making You Live Longer
- Fresh Food By Prescription: This Health Care Firm Is Trimming Costs — And Waistlines
Let’s Get Our Kids Outside More
As a follow up to my previous post, I came across this article: Why You Need More Dirt in Your Life. The very first paragraph tells a huge story: “It’s estimated that children now spend less time outside than the average prisoner. This could have devastating effects: Kids need to be exposed to the microbes in the soil to build up their defenses against diseases that may attack them later. But it’s not just children, Paul Bogard explains in his new book, The Ground Beneath Us. The EPA estimates that the average American adult now spends 93 percent of their life indoors. As we retreat indoors, more and more of the earth is disappearing, with an estimated quarter of a million acres paved or repaved in the United States each year.”
Kids are spending less time outside than prisoners!! It’s not uncommon to read about how little recess time kids are getting during their school day, but with the amount of homework kids are being sent home with -many kids simply do not even have enough time after school either. And on top of that, add in the technology addiction so many families are dealing with now. What a recipe for disaster in more ways than we even know about. I’m not sure what the solution is — but putting an emphasis and importance on getting your kiddos outside should be at the top of all parents’ lists. It starts at home.
Know When to Take a Knee
Even though I’m in damn good shape, I have to continually remind myself that it’s OK to scale. I’ve been taking [Solidcore] for some time now and it continually screws with my head. What happens is that when I do scale during the 50 minute class, I am hard on myself afterwards. As I was driving back from class this morning, I started to beat myself up about scaling a few moves. Then, I purposefully thought about how far I have come since I first tried this type of hard workout. And reminded myself, scaling isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I don’t have to compare myself to anyone else taking the class. They aren’t me. They aren’t built like me. They don’t have the same challenges. They have their own. I’m sure it won’t be the last time thoughts like these creep up, but like any other skill – practice makes better. I have to make a conscious effort to switch the filter that I am using.
Things Happen For a Reason
As a few of you know, I am currently enjoying downtime from working full time. I have a few clients that I am consulting with, but nothing that is taking up all my working hours. What you probably don’t know, because I don’t really talk about it, is that my son just hit his teen years and is having some challenges. I am told that the issues he’s dealing with are very common, but nonetheless are very challenging to handle as parents. We want to help him the best we can — but as I am finding out, there are some things he either needs to grow out of and will come as he matures and there are other things he needs guidance now more than ever. A dear friend told me yesterday that perhaps this break in my employment is the opportunity that is needed to help guide him and be there for him more. Her words “He needs you”. And now I have some time to be there for him –give him more structure, spend more time just being around him. This break happened because this is the time he needs someone there for him most.
I wish an instruction manual came with both my kids. Scotty and I are trying to do what we think is best – which I guess is all anyone can ask of us but I gotta tell you, parenting is hard.
It’s hard to believe that 15 years ago TODAY, my first baby was born. HB is fully into her teens and teaching more about being a parent and a better person than I could ever imagine. And not to mention, allowing me to hone my skills in patience, anger management and improving my sense of humor as I experience life through the eyes of a teen in the year 2017. Boy, new parents are in for the most wonderful, crazy ride of their lives! Which leads me to share info about an event I was invited to attend last week for new and soon to be mothers as a local blogger. I think when I started sharing pics from the event I gave a few of my friends a scare! But, while it definitely wasn’t my personal demographic – it was a good opportunity for me to see how this particular generation finds out about products, connects with others and enters into this exciting phase of life.
When I arrived to the MOABS Luxe and checked in, I was given an awesome VIP gift that included a Baby K’tan diaper bag filled with lots of stuff including a Baby Jack & Company lovey! I was then told to go and HAVE FUN! And boy did I! There is something really special about being around couples who are at the start of this magic. Their energy is contagious and they are so happy! I loved being around them…
My first stop was the AVEDA table (of course!), where I was treated to a nice, stress relieving shoulder massage using some amazing smelling Aveda oils. The staff at the table were the nicest and since I love Aveda products already, I did snag a limited edition candle Light The Way that smells amazing! And for those that know about Aveda, know that they are definitely a cause based company that believes in giving back. The candle is 12 bucks and all the proceeds go to help bring clean drinking water to people in Madagascar. From their site: “This year’s limited-edition aroma features certified organic vanilla, cinnamon and ylang ylang from Madagascar, where we’ve helped fund water systems for 10,000 people.” So, I helped others and got a yummy shoulder massage within the first 15 minutes of my arrival, I would say that the event was off to a great start, so I moved on…
Next up, I was greeted with food, drinks and a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN! I mean – COME ON, Now! The drinks included one of my favorites – La Croix Sparkling Water. A table full of La Croix water – all flavors. I love sparking water so this was another win for me! Fully fed, chocolated up and hydrated, it was time to enter the big room. The room with the different vendors, displays and where the speakers were going to drop their knowledge. I kept thinking about how things have advanced since I had HB and Nate Dogg. Technology has improved so many aspects of parenting gear. I felt oddly unprepared even though I have successfully raised two kids myself…
First stop in the main room was to visit Dorie Howell Photography. Her table displayed all of her amazing photos. I asked her a few questions about her photography, including her camera brand of choice (Canon!). She mentioned she has been photographing babies for quite some time and does do families and other portraits as well. Her photos were gorgeous and you can tell she connects with the people she photographs. She also mentions many times she doesn’t require much post production work either – which is pretty impressive if you look at her photos. And in a small world coincidence, I shared her pic out during the event over Instagram and a dear friend of mine left a comment that Dorie is a dear family friend of hers! You never know who you will meet and we all are 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon for sure!
I walked around the event for a bit and then it was time to hear the keynote speaker Maria Bailey share her thoughts. She shared some really great ideas about blogging and becoming a Mom Influencer which is what she specializes in. I really enjoyed listening to her advice and will be sharing some of what I took away from her opening remarks soon in another blog post. As a fellow marketing, influencer and blogger – it’s always interesting to hear how others make their way and the trends that I need to adapt to. After she spoke, I went and introduced myself and we chatted a bit about my experience and some of the challenges I have found working with brands and companies – one of which is to prove to them how important it is to reach out to influencers and use social media even if it doesn’t bring in direct sales!
I made my way around to each of the tables – talking a bit to the vendors and sampling and inspecting their products. They had a great baker Randy Cakes who offered delicious cupcakes (I brought them home for my “baby” HB and she gave them a thumbs up) and Mother Nuture, who make refreshing flavored waters and delicious chocolate truffles containing some of the essential nutrients that moms and their babies need like folic acid, DHA, Protein, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12, and choline. The ingredients in each of their nutrient blends work in harmony with prenatal vitamins and are made with all natural ingredients, nothing artificial. Now, no one in my house is pregnant but I loved the water and my husband and kids loved the truffles!
The event went on for a few hours with different guest speakers talking about car seat safety, pre-schools, cribs, baby stuff and more. And there were really terrific raffles after each speaker (think Cribs, gift sets of Aveda products, High End Car Seats) I even ran into a former coworker of mine, Heidi, who blogs at Boys on a Budget! I haven’t seen her in almost 20 years, so that was a huge bonus! It was a great night – stepping outside of my comfort zone, meeting new folks, re-connecting with others and finding out about some amazing products geared towards new Moms!
Dogs are amazing and awesome
Last night, I watched this video: A dog’s remarkable journey to find a home: A distance of 6,455 miles doesn’t begin to measure the journey one dog made to join a team and find a family (video below) and I literally sat there crying for a few minutes after the video was over. What a special bond some dogs develop with their people. But even more than the companionship and love they give, dogs are good for your overall health.
Here are just a few of the many benefits:
- Dogs are heart healthy According to the British Journal of Medicine, dog owners tend to have lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, fewer heart attacks, and have fewer medical problems than those without pets.
- Dogs help boost your mood Hanging out with your pooch can make you more calm and raises your brain’s levels of dopamine and serotonin, the mood chemicals in your body!
- Dogs get you moving Dog owners tend to exercise more by taking walks and running around with their doggies.
- Dogs help boost kids’ immune systems According to Science Daily, kids who grow up with dogs have fewer allergies and are less likely to have eczema. They also are exposed to more dirt!
- Dogs teach responsibility and commitment Caring for a dog is a major commitment and requires patience. It’s a 24/7, 365 day commitment.
- They can detect health issues In addition to sniffing out cancer, dogs can also be trained to identify seizures, severe allergies, and other health issues.
And while not directly related to health, but definitely affects a person’s overall well-being: DOGS REALLY CAN TELL IF SOMEONE IS A BAD PERSON
It’s no secret that I’m not the tallest person — I’m around 5’3. Scotty, my husband, is 6’3. I figured when we had kids that they would most likely be taller than me. So, while it’s not a surprise that HB is now taller – there is a milestone moment in parenting when it hits you – your baby is now grown up. I had that moment recently and my super tall husband had to point it out —
We were shopping at a local sports store and I couldn’t reach something –so I asked HB to get it for me and sure enough, she reached up and got it with no problem. It was not a noticeable moment for me – do you know how many times I have to ask someone to get something for me? I can’t count that high — short people are used to asking for help. But Scotty – well he strolled by and asked “Did you just ask HB to get something up high for you?” That was the moment when I realized it had happened. My first born child is growing up. Can we make time stop?
As much as I love who she is now, I wish I had that time back when she was a baby. I would have been less nervous with her and enjoyed the time more. Life really does happen so quickly and before you know it – they are up and grown and your roles change. Circle of life, I suppose. Parenting – it never gets easy – what’s hard just changes.
Other thoughts around Parenting
- How parenting tactics influence teens’ problem behaviors
- Parenting as a Gen Xer: We’re the first generation of parents in the age of iEverything
- The American Obsession With Parenting
Scotty posted this to my Facebook wall recently to let me know I’m not alone. I was once asked by a friend, “Does your husband know you are moving out?” after he saw my car.
One of the greatest things that has happened to our family this past year is adopting our dog, Trooper, the white German Shepherd (IG: TroopertheWGSD). Although he is a ton of work – it’s like having a toddler living in my house again – he has brought so much joy and fun into our family life. The big joke among Scotty and the kids is that every time I go out to run errands I bring Trooper a toy. HB likes to say “I’m obsessed with him”. She’s right but who else is that happy to see me all the time? His eyes light up every time I get him a new treat or play toy. He doesn’t complain about it being the wrong color or size. He appreciates it for what it is. And in my book that’s a win/win.
Having Trooper has improved our health as well. The kids get outside more than ever, taking him for walks, to the park, or just in our backyard to throw the chuck it ball – over and over and over and over again. That boy loves to play fetch.
Pup-peroni’s new Filet Mignon & Bacon Flavors
I was recently sent Pup-peroni’s new Filet Mignon & Bacon Flavors treats so Trooper could properly celebrate International Bacon Day–and what do you know? Trooper loves BACON too. These treats are made with Angus steak with bacon-y flavoring (that’s what the box says anyway!) And Trooper loved them.
To share ways you and your pooch bond over Bacon, use #woofyeah or leave me a comment below!
And it doesn’t need to be said but, even though I don’t need any more reasons to love him, his love of Bacon makes him that more lovable!
Please Note: Thanks to Pup-Peroni for sending me a bag of these treats for Trooper. They did ask me to include a link to their product but there was no expectation on their part to influence my review. My opinions here are my own.
We dropped the kids off for their yearly sleep away camp. Camp Kesem is a week long camp that serves children who have lost a parent to cancer, have a parent undergoing cancer treatment , or whose parent is a cancer survivor. The camp is an opportunity for kids to just be kids and to hang out with other kids who have experienced the life altering effects that cancer has on an entire family.
While Scotty is now 8 years cancer free, the long term effects are still present and the changes within our family are forever there. HB didn’t really want to go but we explained that in many ways, it’s important for other kids to see different perspectives of cancer and whether they see it or not, our kids were affected forever.
While they are at camp, I am heading to Memphis, and am excited and honored to be given this opportunity. The agenda over the next three days is full from 9a – 9p. They have us meeting with families, doctors, doing projects with the kids, touring the hospital, meeting with the Communications department and finding out being one of their ambassadors and what that entails. I will be sure to share some of each day’s events while i am gone if i can. But as a I said, they have us booked all day, learning.
And last week, my brother and his two girls were here for the week. It’s been a very long time since I had toddlers in my house. It was quite an experience –and a lot of work. I forgot all the demands and attention they require. They were adorable and we had a great time. The most popular member of our household it seemed was Trooper. The girls loved him and he loved them back. It was awesome to see how gentle and affectionate he was to them. As big as he is, he can be gentle and playful. When they left, he moped around the house for a day or so missing them. He’s now back to normal – thank goodness!
Planning for a Family Visit with Toddlers
Their week long stay had me playing tour guide, so I thought I would share how I handled making plans for them knowing that because of their ages (2 and 5), we needed to have fun, be flexible, and get a taste of the beauty of Virginia (aka “grassy land” – which is what my 5 year old niece calls Virginia)….
I wanted to find events/attractions that would not take all day either — because as anyone that has had young kids — their attention spans are limited and they need naps. Here’s what I came up with and then also planned pool time, walks, and art activities at home. I was pretty pleased with myself for being so organized and planning activities that really worked out well for everyone…
|National Aquarium||Baltimore, MD||Adults: $39.95
Children (3-11): $24.95
Seniors (65+): $34.95
|National Harbor is a great place to take the kids –they can run around and the aquarium also offers the chance to touch jelly fish and other sea creatures on the 2nd floor.|
|Smithsonian Butterly Pavilion||DC/Smithsonian||Adults: $6.00
Children (2-12): $5.00
Seniors (65+): $5.50
|Butterflies are EVERYWHERE in this small enclosure. The kids loved it.|
|Great Country Farms||18780 Foggy Bottom Rd, Bluemont, VA 20135||Weekdays: $8/Child & $10/Adult kids under 2: FREE||Ride the Cow Train.
Solve the giant Mazes.
Grab some air on the Pumpkin Jumping Pillow.
Make friends with the Barnyard animals.
Hook the big one at the Fishing Pond.
Much, much more!
|FLY DANCE COMPANY||Wolf Trap – Theater in the woods||$10.00/Ticket Thursday, August 4 at 10:30 am||So you think you can dance? Check out this high-energy, gravity-defying dance crew as they mix hip-hop, pop n lock, and modern dance with colorful costumes and comic delivery. Kindergarten through 5th grade.|
|Great Falls Park||Great Falls/Mclean VA||8.00 Park Entrance Fee||
Scenic National Park, with hiking and climbing on rocks.
Lots going on — which is why I am slacking on updating often. My day job has been in the midst of a lot of change – my awesome boss has decided to leave, our CEO resigned and we are moving offices -which will add a sucky commute to my work week- all in the span of a few weeks! Talk about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, not to mention the kids are now out of school for the summer and my puppy, Trooper, has been away for two weeks getting some serious obedience training. We miss him terribly and have been all excited for him to come home and yesterday the trainer texts asking if they can keep him an extra week at no charge, so they can work with him on tracking. So – I would say he’s doing well with his training and we can’t say no –but man, we miss him.
Oh, and HB is done with middle school. It’s hard to believe my little baby is now heading to high school. I have mixed feelings about it all. I just really cant get my head around the fact that she is growing up so fast. She is now officially taller than me. I keep having flash backs of little moments when she was a baby and it really does seem like yesterday. Then I am reminded that it was a very long time ago when she tells me I don’t understand anything and how could I embarrass her so much by <whatever it is that particular day>!
As for my fitness life – I’m down another pound. Seems like that’s my MO. Slow and steady. That’s 11 pounds down and about 3% body fat lost. I’m really happy with the progress. I feel so much better and you can see a lot more definition in my body. It’s the protein I tell ya! Eat more protein! I’ve been enjoying my 2x a week sessions with my trainer, Wayne. I’m doing some strength training I have not ever done before and he seems to enjoy trying to figure out how to make me sore. Every session he has been asking me how are you feeling and I have said, a bit sore but nothing major. Well, this week – my calves were SORE. When I went in for yesterday’s session – he seemed to revel in it a bit more than he should and proceeded to have me do a very intensive upper body circuit that left me shaking. It’s been interesting to work 1:1 with a trainer. It takes a few weeks to get acquainted. I guess you can say it’s like dating. At first, it’s all nice and once you are more comfortable, the real sets in. Well – we are at the real point. In a good way of course – He is pushing me and I am seeing results. Which is the point – and it has reignited my motivation. So I would say it’s been money well spent.
Then of course there is [Solidcore] and Boxing — a well-rounded fitness cycle. Some people ask me how I find the time to do it all and still take care of stuff in my life. Well, it’s a good question. Some of it is getting up super early to get my work outs in. Some of it has to do with asking for help. My hubby knows it’s important to me, so he does his part to help the gears run. And finally, my kids know that it’s just what Mom does and I hope they take my lead and continue to be active throughout their lives. It’s about 5-6 hours total out of each week if you think about it. There are MANY hours in a week – 5 or 6 is nothing – and we all deserve ME time. It’s my therapy, my time to hang with my friends, listen to some good music, challenge myself physically and mentally, and set the example I want to set for my kiddos. How can I NOT find time – ya know?
This was waiting for me on my Facebook wall when I got into the office this morning by Scotty –
“Remember our 18 year anniversary? We had to cancel our dinner reservations because we forgot you had to take our daughter to that annoying teen show/concert thing. Do you recall how both of our kids were sick, coughing up lungs and leaving tissues all over the house for the dog to get? How about battling with the kids over the dishes even though it would be easier for us to just do them, but we don’t because we are teaching the kids responsibility? How we ran errands separately so we can divide an conquer? Remember how I sang “Girl you don’t need makeup” to you, and you stopped me saying that the song is not actually a nice thing, and then you sang Kanya “18 years 18 years..” and I stopped you reminding you how that one isn’t appropriate either? Happy Anniversary – I can’t imagine taking on the world with anyone else and still have as much fun as we do. I love you and can’t wait to see you after work… after I run errands to get the kid’s meds and whatever else you remind me that I forgot to do.”
True to my personality, I added…
“remember how I said I wouldn’t be mad at you at all today — and then I got mad at you. And how i forced you to take a selfie?”
I don’t have any special magical advice to share about marriage. It’s a lot of work, there are peaks and valleys. We do genuinely like each other as well as love each other. We laugh a lot. We treat each other with respect, even when we are angry (which does happen). We like hanging out together. Above all else though, we are committed to one another. It’s us – in it together.