Posts tagged fear
I had no idea when I mentioned how my boxing place was closed for a death in their family, that would mean that they would close permanently but I got the notice a week or so ago that indeed they are closing their doors. I’m pretty bummed about it but can you imagine in the course of a few weeks the life shock that family has gone through? My heart breaks for them as they figure out how to adjust to their new life. With that said, I have to figure out another cardio/strength option now that there are no close by boxing places for me to move on to….
And change must be in the air because it looks like my long term contract that I had is probably coming to an end early December. It’s been a great experience, and my original boss was awesome. She taught me so much, was fun to work with and had perspective about the work we were doing. But, she left this past spring and as usual, with new management and changing of the guard – they want to bring in their own people. So, come end of the Fall, I will be looking for more consulting work. I’m not going to lean into the fear though. I have sent out some emails — and have some meetings already set up. And, I keep repeating to myself —what’s the worst that can happen? to help keep the fear at bay and get perspective.
Don’t Get Stuck in a Fear Loop
In this article about using fear to your advantage, they suggest reminding yourself that most of your fears are irrational, that you will get through the situation that is making you uncomfortable, and most times getting through it will make you stronger. A while ago, I shared some info about Tony Blauer’s fearloop, and how you need to be aware of how it works so you don’t get stuck in it and become paralyzed by fear.
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When one door closes, another opens…I keep forgetting how true this is — earlier this month, I left a situation that was bringing me down. I had no plan, no new job – and decided to approach the situation differently than I had previously with no fear. I recently read a post that talked about Fear –How to relate to fear in a way that makes it ok. In the piece, a dad explained to his son that roller coasters are supposed to scare you — it’s how they are designed. It made the fear of it less scary and being scared is not necessarily a bad thing if you choose to see and understand it that way. That concept resonated with me and I decided not to be scared that I didn’t have a job — embrace the unknown, uncomfortable feeling and dare I say, enjoy the freedom.
This past Monday, 3 weeks to the day when I became unemployed, I began a consulting gig that is much better suited towards my experience. It happened so fast and here I am — doing the work I want to do with people that are much more my style, along with flexibility and freedom to handle my personal life which is getting more and more difficult to keep up with. So there you go: Jump and a net will appear….
Let’s talk about how my fitness/wellness journey is going —
Fitness wise, no issues. It’s such an ingrained part of my life that I don’t even think about it. I can’t imagine at this point, not having exercise in my life. It’s gotten to the point that even rest days are harder to take. I crave the activity mentally and physically. But nutrition wise, it’s a whole different story…
I’ve fallen somewhat off the wagon – No excuses. It’ crazy that I can’t get my head in the game even though I have seen the physical effects of it. Outward My skin is drier, eczema has returned depending on what I eat, acne has revisited my face,. Inward, my energy level has decreased, my monthly visit is miserable. All I want to do is eat sweets, sleep and get angry with anyone near me.
Now that my outlook is looking sunnier and am no longer in a job I can’t stand – I am thinking my head can correct itself and I can once again focus on my nutritional health since we all know that’s 80% of the overall wellness equation to begin with.
- How Word Choices Transform Your Mind
- This Is What Chronic Illness Really Looks Like
- What It’s Like When No One Believes You’re Sick
- Stress Is Your Brain Trying to Avoid Something
I saw this posted question the other day and it made me pause. It’s an interesting question to ponder.
Now that my daughter is entering her teen years and has started to experience all that goes with it, it has put me in a reflective mood. She has already begun dealing with friend drama, body image worries, and embarrassing parents. I want to let her experience things without being a helicopter parent, but also benefit from the knowledge that I have. I didn’t have a picture perfect childhood and want to do whatever I can to prevent her from experiencing some of it. I see traits in her personality that mirror mine and it worries me sometimes. I know there is only so much I can do as her mom – sigh…
As for me answering that question – I would tell myself to not let fear control my decisions. I was always so scared of being uncomfortable, craved stability and that made me so rigid. I saw things one way and that was it – wasn’t open to trying anything new and was so scared to just take a chance. How about you?
Oh and I would definitely tell myself to start exercising as an outlet for stress – I often wish I was in shape from the onset!
I have talked about Fear before — how it holds us back, how we get stuck in a Fear Loop and can’t seem to get out. This weekend I read something by Richard Branson – you know the guy who founded Virgin and all the sub-companies underneath brand. He writes a lot of good stuff –stuff that challenges you to think differently.
This particular article was about fear –Richard Branson on Facing Your Fears. Success and moving forward has a lot to do with how you approach fear – do you take the plunge, head first? Do you jump back, assess the situation and then act? Or do you back away and continue in the fear loop? The people we tend to call leaders or those who succeed, are the ones that do a combo of taking the plunge and assessing then acting depending on the situation – but they don’t get stuck in the fear loop.
That’s the key! You have to keep moving forward – even if it’s inch by inch! We all get knocked down, but you get up and move forward! Envision the fighter, that gets knocked to the ground but won’t stay down. They just keep getting up – eventually the bell will ring and the round is over.
Do you ever feel like you are meant for something bigger than where you are right now? I just know that there is something out there that I am supposed to be doing – bigger than what I am doing now. I know I have seen pieces of it come together, but the full picture isn’t developed yet and it’s frustrating and takes a ton of patience as I experience stuff that all seems to help me discover more pieces of the picture. Does that even make sense?
Back squat 160# 5×5
in between sets 5 negative ring dips
- Run, 200 m
- 10 Burpees
- 20 Box Jump (20 In.)s
- 30 Air Squats
- 40 Double Unders
- 50 AbMat Sit-ups
- 40 Double Unders
- 30 Air Squats
- 20 Box Jump (20 In.)s
- 10 Burpees
- Run, 200 m
Time: 14:41 Rx
Here are some good articles that I have read this week:
Good before and after pics to get motivated and inspired to go or continue to eat PALEO style! Share Your Paleo Before and After!
I was looking around the gym this AM while we were doing some practicing on the rings and thought to myself –how freakin’ fun is this? We are playing like we were kids on a playground. How many of us adults can remember the last time we did something so carefree and challenging? I can answer that myself — this morning and almost every morning. And I love it —
We had a new athlete join us this morning who has never been on the rings before. He came with the right attitude though –he was going to try and not let his pride stand in his way. Ring work for a big lug of a guy is not easy – it takes a strong inner core, body awareness and midline stability. It definitely takes time to be comfortable so I loved that this guy was ok with that — so often we place these crazy expectations on ourselves that ultimately hold us back.
I heard this quote in a song on the way to CrossFit this morning – Don’t let fear define you and I thought to myself, what a perfect thing to hear right before my workout. It starts and ends in your head — your thoughts determine your path.
I had a great weekend — ran 5 miles, had Krav Maga training, took a few naps, de-cluttered some of my house, spent time with the people I love. There is nowhere else I would rather be right now that here – present in the moments: Being Here Now.
21-18-15-12-9-6-3 rep rounds for time of:
- Seconds of L-sit
- Kettlebell Swings 35#
- Air Squat
This may not look like much but man, you are smoked at the end. This is the type of workout that I love – challenging but achievable!
The Enemy is Fear, Not Hate
A few weeks ago, I wrote about some of my thoughts that came out of talking with Tony Blauer and learning about being in a fear loop in certain situations. What I have started noticing is that there are so many facets of life where people get stuck because of fear – and not just related to huge life or death issues either. We are scared of what changing will bring – but sometimes it’s good to scare yourself and do something that makes your heart pump a little faster. It can really reinvigorate and reignite things that may have burned out a long time ago.
I have been going around and around in a fear loop about a few things lately — my workouts to name one. I am scared to push myself past a certain point and when I hit that point, every time I stop. Without fail — it’s an automatic response to being uncomfortable. Granted, I have asthma and there are some major consequences to not listening to what is going on with my body but I sense it’s more than that. What is the key to getting me comfortable with that extra push that I want — to not stop to regain my breath and relax myself — before I pick it up once again. It’s frustrating and it’s holding me back. As soon as I sense my heavy breathing and my lungs feel heavy, I back off from the intensity. It’s automatic and I struggle to regain my breath and stabilize my lungs before I carry on. Yes, I carry on but man if I can just learn to push past the pain and quiet the panic that starts to bubble up as I start to breathe heavy – I wouldn’t be able to be stopped.
There are some other things career related and personal that I would like to address too but I haven’t been able to find my way out of the fear loop – so I continue to work on things and confront those pesky voices in my head to make sense of some of the stuff so that I can be ready to get myself out of it. One of the blogs I read very regularly is written by Vashti – who is the wife of the late actor Andy Whitfield – who died of cancer last September. She has such a unique perspective of life that just inspires me and challenges me to think in a different way about every day. I relate to her a lot in our shared experience of having to see and care for someone you love more than the world as they battle cancer. Sadly, her wonderful love passed on – way too young. But even when they were battling together, they both chose to see what was going on very differently than most people would. I like to think that Scotty and I did as well.
She just seems to be able to communicate the right things at the right time for me — yesterday, I read her post Redefining Fear.
This whole poorly written post is about understanding an honouring fear and knowing that there is actually a way to use your fear in an EMPOWERING way. In stead of being stopped by it, learn to let it spur you on, inspire you and challenge you to lean in to your life. There is no need to be be stuck on the outside of your life as an observer, peeking in through the window, wondering what it might be like in that room if you boldly stepped inside.
The post brought me to tears actually. I can’t explain exactly why but something about it spoke directly to me. I don’t want to be stopped by my fear and I know it’s up to me to take the step inside of my life to see what it has in store for me. If you look at the comments, there are so many people out there dealing with being in a fear loop. One of the comments on the blog was this quote:
Fear you can overcome, regret you’re stuck with.
Nothing is more true than that quote. I don’t want to be the one that always talks about what could have been — I want it to be. Period. End of Story.
Yeah, I am thinking some seriously deep thoughts this Friday morning aren’t I. Breathe.
My workout today was tough. Cold air, exhaust fumes, and lots of cardio/heart pumping intensity!
- 800m jog
- bear crawl
- pass thrus
- good mornings
- KB Swing
- Box Jump
5 Rounds for Time
- 20 KB Swings
- 100m Sprint
- 20 Box Jumps
time: 16:18 – sprinting & box jumps together made it tough!