Mornings are so tough in my house –my son just refuses to adjust and get up. He has been this way since he was born –won’t go to sleep and when he finally gives in to it –it’s like moving the earth to get him to get up and when he does, he’s in the worst mood. Screaming, yelling, defiant and then eventually turns to crying. We have tried a bunch of different methods to get him better adjusted –adjusting his bedtime to earlier, giving him a head start to getting up, buying his own alarm clock, trying Agile planning with him, rewards, punishments, reasoning — you name it. It makes the start of the day so hard for all of us.  Any little thing can set him off too — HB’s singing, not the right breakfast food, not enough time to have any down time in the AM.  I seriously can’t wait until summer so he can sleep in a bit. If we let him, he would sleep until 11a or later!  He’s lucky he’s cute and has my heart wrapped around his finger –otherwise no one in their right mind would put up with that.

Yesterday was the first time in three years I didn’t do Memorial Day Murph. I have mixed feelings about missing it. I went for a run on Sunday morning and my calves are still sore from all of this Pose Method of running. With all that is going on with me and my break from CFI – i thought it would be best to steer clear of the box. All of the regular athletes would be there which would lead to questions about where I have been. I don’t want to mislead people about where/why/how –so I decided to leave it be. That’s not what Memorial Day is about — Murph and honoring all the heroes is the true reason we have this holiday.

However, I didn’t realize how much it would bum me out to miss being around my friends. So many of them have been such a huge part of my life and to not be able to take on this challenge with them was mentally tough on me. The more I think about what’s going on, the more I realize how wrong and blown out of proportion it became. I was ready to move on weeks ago –but you can’t force others to approach it in a professional, grown up way with perspective. There are so many things about the situation that could have been handled differently — I truly believe I did handle it the best way I could afterwards by taking time to clear my head and get some space between me and the situation. I am bummed that those involved didn’t see it that way but I can tell you, that I refuse to be treated badly any longer. I give a lot of myself to so many things –mostly without proper recognition and compensation because I really live by the mantras — do what you makes you happy. Follow your passion.  However, when push comes to shove, for me to be happy, I need to be recognized and remembered.

I will not allow people to talk to me rudely or with disrespect without addressing it. We all blow off some steam and lash out at times — and most of the time, no harm – move on. But when it consistently happens and those people are allowed to continue on without any recourse –that’s when I blow my top. I’m not doing any of this stuff to get rich. I believe deep down inside I am meant to help others by offering support and inspiration. I love being around people, seeing them succeed — hungry to learn and grow and progress. What I am discovering is so many people are too stuck in their own heads, their own fear loops to realize that they aren’t growing and learning. I have been struggling with this and getting so freakin’ frustrated.

I don’t know how you can live a great life without constantly challenging yourself and learning. I am always looking for ways to learn — to be around people that I can learn from, or be in situations where I can see where progress leads, meet and talk with big thinkers, be in the midst of inspiring situations, surrounded by healthy & happy people.  And sometimes, I am finding out, people who you thought were happy and healthy are not when you peel back all the layers. The laughter and fun are covering up issues that they won’t or can’t address.  And the thing is — it’s all well and good until there is an issue that comes up and then the issues start to come to the surface.

I love what I do professionally and personally. I will never stop working on improving my own life. I have my own shit to fix and work on for sure –but part of that for me is ensuring that the relationships all around me are not bringing me down. And they only key to that is to change me — how I handle situations and react to people. That’s my focus because I can’t change others –lord knows I have tried!

Still over at HB CrossFit — I’m enjoying it a lot although I miss my social circle terribly. There are only 2-3 other athletes there right now so it’s not quite as ‘fun’, but I am definitely getting some good coaching and training for me -the athlete.

warmup
200m jog
10 squats
4 Sampson Stretch
4 4 Point Instep Lunges
10 Squats

5×5 Back Squat
165#

5 RFT
12 OH Walking Lunges 15#
8 Box Jumps
6 Strict Pull Ups
45s Plank Holds
12:12 time