The reality of being told I wasn’t wanted is starting to set in. After seven years of caring – probably too deeply – about my job, they didn’t want me anymore. It’s funny what we focus on isn’t it?

When I stop and think about the past seven years, it was clear that I had outgrown that position years before and stayed out of a sense of comfort and loyalty. I had allowed myself to be treated poorly, treated less than I deserved, and I put up with some pretty despicable behavior by co-workers and management. I allowed myself to be valued less than I deserved. WHY is what i am trying to figure out.

I think a lot of it has to do with security and being stuck in a fear loop of what comes next.  I think years of putting up with being treated poorly and unkind fucked with my head. If you continually feel and are shown that you aren’t as good or worthy as others, it starts to sink in.  I didn’t necessarily respect or learn much from many of the people I worked with that related to my career. I learned a lot about what I am looking for in a leader and a company moving forward for sure but, not a lot about business and collaboration or the industry I actually worked in. The value I put into their words and actions is ridiculous if I stop to think about it. I didn’t like most of the people and every time I turned around, someone new was hired that was allowed to learn on the job while the rest of the staff was stunted growth wise.

Seven years has taught me some of the things I want in my next opportunity:

• I want to work with people who are passionate about what they do.
• I want to work for people that value leadership and drive.
• I want to work with people who look to help one another.
• I want to work with people who love learning.
• I want to work with people who are tolerant and kind.
• I want to work with people who aren’t afraid of a challenge or new ideas.
• I want to work with people who  don’t settle for mediocrity or just getting by.
• I want to work with people who are FUN and INNOVATIVE.
• I want to work for a company that is innovative, forward thinking & open to all types of employees.
• I want to be recognized and valued for my perspective and experience.

And what i have to remember is that it isn’t about them not wanting me — it’s about that company not meeting my needs anymore.  It still sucks no matter how I look at it. I have to figure out a way to get out of my funk —

Kindness Matters

Today is Happy World Kindness Day! Get out there and do something kind – big or small, they all count.

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” ― Henry James

Yesterday, I read The Greatest Lesson We Learn When Someone Is Unkind and it was a great reminder that we can control how we respond to someone’s unkindness. “While it’s true that kindness engenders kindness, the lack of it can be a powerful teacher.” — and for me, I don’t have to respond in an unkind way to someone who has done me wrong. In fact, I do not want to be known as someone who is unkind – that to me, would be the ultimate insult and I would do whatever I could to reverse it. Kindness is powerful in so many ways and at the end of the day, that’s what I want to be – KIND.

Recommended Reading

• The Body Shapes Of The World’s Best Athletes Compared Side By Side
• My F*ck It List 
• The Twelve Things You are not Taught in School about Creative Thinking

Workout

back squats
WOD
KB Swings
Burpees
DB Hang Squat Cleans
Shuttle Runs