The End of the Best Friend – NYTimes.com.

A Best Friend? You Must Be Kidding

But increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are asking a question that might surprise their parents: Should a child really have a best friend?

Most children naturally seek close friends. In a survey of nearly 3,000 Americans ages 8 to 24 conducted last year by Harris Interactive, 94 percent said they had at least one close friend. But the classic best-friend bond — the two special pals who share secrets and exploits, who gravitate to each other on the playground and who head out the door together every day after school — signals potential trouble for school officials intent on discouraging anything that hints of exclusivity, in part because of concerns about cliques and bullying.

…much of the effort to encourage children to be friends with everyone is meant to head off bullying and other extreme consequences of social exclusion.

.. Many psychologists believe that close childhood friendships not only increase a child’s self-esteem and confidence, but also help children develop the skills for healthy adult relationships — everything from empathy, the ability to listen and console, to the process of arguing and making up. If children’s friendships are choreographed and sanitized by adults, the argument goes, how is a child to prepare emotionally for both the affection and rejection likely to come later in life?

I had a best friend up until about 7th grade. Then a big falling out and it was over and my world fell apart. To a 12-13 year old girl who grew up in a smaller town where you basically knew everyone you graduated High School with since birth – breaking off a BFF friendship over something stupid really rocks your world.

Not sure discouraging kids to have close friends really helps discourage cliques or bullying…I believe having one or two close friends help kids develop intimate relationships, and learn empathy and caring for someone else.

And while it did “rock my world” when I lost my BFF – I do have great memories of the time we spent together and it made me who I am today —