Marriage is Hard Work

This week my husband shared a story about a couple we know that are no longer together. It was quite a shock to hear the news that they are divorcing – they seemed very well suited for each other, had a couple of kids – just like me and many of you -they seemed on the surface to be just like any other normal suburbia couple, so what changed?

I read this story the other day before hearing the news of this couple: Did Single Friends Kill My Marriage? — and while the details of this couple’s story are a bit different it has the same feel — and reminded me of them and many other couples that I know that have split.

Wife starts to come into her own, starts working out, getting fit – taking more pride in her appearance and how she feels. Is successful in her career and starts to be around a younger set of people. Mid twenties – thirty year olds who have no kids, no spouse and like to go out on the scene. Wife has never really had that kind of experience before and now that she is getting more attention from guys because of her improving appearance – she starts to enjoy that scene.  And then for whatever reason she prefers it to her home life and starts to put her energy into that and away from her suburbia life –her husband and kids.

She feels that her husband isn’t the person she wants to be with anymore –and the stuff she liked about him in the first place is exactly the stuff that is wrong with him now.  Then she for whatever crazy reason in her head -decides to throw all shit to the wall and stops coming home, starts to lie to her husband, does not give her kids the attention she once did — decides to abandon her life and start fresh.   Leaves her family, starts shacking up with a co-worker that she apparently was shacking up with the entire time, gets fired from her job and now what?

WTF is that about?  We all make choices in our lives and people change. We are not the same people we were when we get married in our twenties. Lord knows I’m not at all like my younger self and I thank God about that every day.  I think it’s the reason that I have been hearing about quite a few couples splitting up around this age — they grow apart.  But there is no reason why you can’t grow together and still maintain a separate passion or hobby for something…

Reading that article – I can see how easily that can happen especially when one spouse discovers a passion or hobby for something that the other doesn’t necessarily share. We all know that marriage takes work and sometimes its super hard work. I don’t know one couple out there that would disagree with that — It’s constantly tested by huge life events and mundane ones, and add in kids, money, health — man – it’s probably one of the toughest relationships out there but – when it’s right, it’s right and there are huge benefits and amazing joys that come from it.

And as the article points out – your marriage should be your first priority and your spouse should come first. I like to use this saying, which I say as a joke but it’s underlined in truth: Life is too short and family too precious- and your husband could have cancer. The grass is not greener on the other side, trust me.

So today – was a strength day and my favorite lift: Dead Lift!

warmup
jump rope
DROM

skill
Deadlift

wod
5-5-5-5-5
95,115,145,195,245#
Tabata Situp
total reps: 100